Ola, Bonjour, Ciao, and Hello!
(Yes, that’s right I’m multi-lingual…as far as greetings go.)
I was watching the TV the other day, and I noticed something. A lot of shows have dream sequences, and I mean tons!
It seems every single TV show has to have at least one episode where they pretend they are in a 40’s gangster movie, or they have a “What if?” episode, or even, as I said, they fake you out with a dream sequence.
Movies from the 40’s probably started it all, like “Singing in the Rain” or “Oklahoma!”, where they have 10 minute-long, completely insignificant, boring dance number that takes place “in a dream”.
The biggest, most well-known dream sequence, in my opinion anyway, is Dallas. An entire season was a dream! You can’t beat that!
YouTube - Dallas Season 9
I can understand wanting to try something a little different, especially for the actors. However, when it comes to putting completely irrelevant episodes into an already short season, when all the viewer really wants is to continue where the last cliffhanger left off, is utterly cruel!
The most recent case I’ve encountered is “Grey’s Anatomy”. I don’t know what’s going on there, but in season 2, they killed off a character, and now he’s back from the dead. He’s still dead but his grieving fiancée is able to see, talk to, and kiss him, while no one else can. I don’t know if she’s crazy or not, but I do know that they are taunting me!
The shows are already fictional; we don’t need fiction within fiction. It’s too much. All we need is to get our weekly fix without all the extra “making the actors happy”. Just stick to the script, don’t make us think something’s happening when it’s not. Don’t do an episode taking place in a completely different era. Don’t do a musical, and don’t, for Pete’s sake, bring people back from the dead!
And remember, there are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
-Marisa
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Fandemonium
Obsessed fans.
That is all I have to say. Just two small words and they describe so much. Personally, I think obsession has been taken to a new level.
I’ll admit, I have my own obsessions, but when it comes to the new novel-turned-movie “Twilight”, the fans have become wild fiends intent upon screaming civilization as we know it to shambles.
I knew “Twilight” was big, I even love the books myself, but I never really knew until the release of “Breaking Dawn” this summer.
The book store was absolutely packed with costumed teenage girls waiting to get the new installment. When the book came out at midnight, a stampede of adolescents trampled me to get in the line, which already wrapped around the Mega Store.
If that wasn’t bad enough, “Twilight Live @ Much” brought the pandemonium to epic proportions. Young girls sat in the rain for two days waiting for the cast of “Twilight” to come to Much Music.
When they arrived, the interview, which was the most disappointing, useless interview imaginable, was made even worse by the fact that all the little lasses screamed for ten minutes straight when star Robert Pattinson appeared. The screaming continued for an hour, blocking any hope there may have been for even a sub-par question and answer session.
Here is the first part of “Twilight Live @ Much” on youtube. Watch the gaggle of girls as the cast arrives, then you’ll know what I mean:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0hwiuLom5M
With the release of the actual movie tomorrow, I am scared for my life because of these crazed females.
Obsession is alright by me, but there is a line and “Twilighters” are miles away from it. What good does it do to scream for an hour at a young Brit who will never be anything to you but a poster or a moving picture?
I beg of you ladies, tone it down, and keep it to yourself when you’re locked in your room like everybody else, or I may just have to hunt you down!
And remember, mares eat oats, and does eat oats, but little lambs eat ivy.
-Marisa
That is all I have to say. Just two small words and they describe so much. Personally, I think obsession has been taken to a new level.
I’ll admit, I have my own obsessions, but when it comes to the new novel-turned-movie “Twilight”, the fans have become wild fiends intent upon screaming civilization as we know it to shambles.
I knew “Twilight” was big, I even love the books myself, but I never really knew until the release of “Breaking Dawn” this summer.
The book store was absolutely packed with costumed teenage girls waiting to get the new installment. When the book came out at midnight, a stampede of adolescents trampled me to get in the line, which already wrapped around the Mega Store.
If that wasn’t bad enough, “Twilight Live @ Much” brought the pandemonium to epic proportions. Young girls sat in the rain for two days waiting for the cast of “Twilight” to come to Much Music.
When they arrived, the interview, which was the most disappointing, useless interview imaginable, was made even worse by the fact that all the little lasses screamed for ten minutes straight when star Robert Pattinson appeared. The screaming continued for an hour, blocking any hope there may have been for even a sub-par question and answer session.
Here is the first part of “Twilight Live @ Much” on youtube. Watch the gaggle of girls as the cast arrives, then you’ll know what I mean:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0hwiuLom5M
With the release of the actual movie tomorrow, I am scared for my life because of these crazed females.
Obsession is alright by me, but there is a line and “Twilighters” are miles away from it. What good does it do to scream for an hour at a young Brit who will never be anything to you but a poster or a moving picture?
I beg of you ladies, tone it down, and keep it to yourself when you’re locked in your room like everybody else, or I may just have to hunt you down!
And remember, mares eat oats, and does eat oats, but little lambs eat ivy.
-Marisa
Thursday, November 13, 2008
I'm Addicted
Greetings from yonder Windows ladies and gents,
I would like to take this time to confess a few things. I am an addict. Wow I feel better by saying that! It’s difficult, but the first hurdle is denial and it’s all downhill from here!
I have a very addictive personality, I have learned, and recently it has gotten worse. It started with just the occasional chocolate, and of course lipstick, then Elvis came along and it all spiraled from there.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “She’s addicted to Elvis? Tragic”, I know, believe me. I try but whenever I see or hear the King, I nigh swoon and my heart starts a rapid tattoo to the beat of his crooning.
I pass a collectible store and I buy it out of all Elvis stock. I’m now out of money, but I am a well-known and happy customer!
I even converted to the Presleyterian Church, and created and Elvis prayer. Sacrilegious, maybe, but I told you, I’ve got it bad.
But Elvis is not where I draw the line. I blame him of course, but he understands. I have also become so addicted to old music of the 50’s and 60’s, and movies from the 30’s and 40’s. I may as well build a time machine or buy a Delorean (there must be some way!).
It’s sad, I know, but anything I even remotely start to enjoy, I go overboard. Now does this sound like the ravings of an addict? I think so…scratch that, I know so, but at least I am getting help.
If you would like to help, listen to A Blonde Joke, Wednesdays at 4:30. (Oh you’ve got to love shameless plugs…)
And remember children, not all bugs need drugs.
-Marisa
I would like to take this time to confess a few things. I am an addict. Wow I feel better by saying that! It’s difficult, but the first hurdle is denial and it’s all downhill from here!
I have a very addictive personality, I have learned, and recently it has gotten worse. It started with just the occasional chocolate, and of course lipstick, then Elvis came along and it all spiraled from there.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “She’s addicted to Elvis? Tragic”, I know, believe me. I try but whenever I see or hear the King, I nigh swoon and my heart starts a rapid tattoo to the beat of his crooning.
I pass a collectible store and I buy it out of all Elvis stock. I’m now out of money, but I am a well-known and happy customer!
I even converted to the Presleyterian Church, and created and Elvis prayer. Sacrilegious, maybe, but I told you, I’ve got it bad.
But Elvis is not where I draw the line. I blame him of course, but he understands. I have also become so addicted to old music of the 50’s and 60’s, and movies from the 30’s and 40’s. I may as well build a time machine or buy a Delorean (there must be some way!).
It’s sad, I know, but anything I even remotely start to enjoy, I go overboard. Now does this sound like the ravings of an addict? I think so…scratch that, I know so, but at least I am getting help.
If you would like to help, listen to A Blonde Joke, Wednesdays at 4:30. (Oh you’ve got to love shameless plugs…)
And remember children, not all bugs need drugs.
-Marisa
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Lil' ol' Modest Me
Alright, after a lot of begging and pleading from listeners, here is a little bit about me...I did not write this, I swear...kind of...
Marisa was born the day the music died, and then because of her unbelievable coolness, brought it back. Therefore, Marisa saved the world as we know it from a fatal case of boredom. In her younger days she experimented…no not that kind of experimentation…with different hobbies and found that roller disco was her true calling. She then moved on to a career in professional Lawn Darts after a severe case of the Bee Gees which ruined her disco career, but after assaulting a mime with one of the darts, she was forever banned from the sport. Finally after a stint as posing as Sean Connery on Jeopardy, Marisa realized her true passion…Johnny Depp. In her spare time, Marisa likes to care for baby emus and eat “emu a la king”, but that’s neither here nor there.
Seriously though, Marisa is the coolest person ever. She is so cool, that she gives people frostbite when they are near her. That is not to say she is cold, because she has the kindest most generous heart ever, and to counteract the totally wicked coolness, she is also unbelievably hot! So hot, people need shades to go near her, and so, when people get frostbite from her coolness, they simultaneously get unthawed by the hotness, and so they pretty much seem to be normal except they are forever affected by being near her.
Really, Marisa is like a six year old, however she is a really uberly smart six year old, despite being a natural Blonde, (Yay Blondes!) with an extensive vocabulary and trapped in a Greek goddess of a body.
Also, she is terribly modest, it is her only fault.
As to her likes, well, there really is only one. And that one is the one we ALL, yes ALL, refer to as the KING…ELVIS PRESLEY! In fact, Marisa is a devout member and actually the leader of the Church of Elvis as he is her God and she worships him to no end.
And remember; you are never lost, you are just an innocent victim of a temporary geographical disorientation.
-Marisa
Marisa was born the day the music died, and then because of her unbelievable coolness, brought it back. Therefore, Marisa saved the world as we know it from a fatal case of boredom. In her younger days she experimented…no not that kind of experimentation…with different hobbies and found that roller disco was her true calling. She then moved on to a career in professional Lawn Darts after a severe case of the Bee Gees which ruined her disco career, but after assaulting a mime with one of the darts, she was forever banned from the sport. Finally after a stint as posing as Sean Connery on Jeopardy, Marisa realized her true passion…Johnny Depp. In her spare time, Marisa likes to care for baby emus and eat “emu a la king”, but that’s neither here nor there.
Seriously though, Marisa is the coolest person ever. She is so cool, that she gives people frostbite when they are near her. That is not to say she is cold, because she has the kindest most generous heart ever, and to counteract the totally wicked coolness, she is also unbelievably hot! So hot, people need shades to go near her, and so, when people get frostbite from her coolness, they simultaneously get unthawed by the hotness, and so they pretty much seem to be normal except they are forever affected by being near her.
Really, Marisa is like a six year old, however she is a really uberly smart six year old, despite being a natural Blonde, (Yay Blondes!) with an extensive vocabulary and trapped in a Greek goddess of a body.
Also, she is terribly modest, it is her only fault.
As to her likes, well, there really is only one. And that one is the one we ALL, yes ALL, refer to as the KING…ELVIS PRESLEY! In fact, Marisa is a devout member and actually the leader of the Church of Elvis as he is her God and she worships him to no end.
And remember; you are never lost, you are just an innocent victim of a temporary geographical disorientation.
-Marisa
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Following Stupid Drivers
Well salutations all you trusty readers/listeners/stalkers,
Now that you’re here, I would like to take this time to vent just a wee mite. This may prove a great learning experience for you as well especially if your name happens to be…well…you know who you are!
I am a young driver, and I don’t live in the city, therefore I have no need to drive around Edmonton very much. Needless to say, I don’t know E-Town like the back of my hand, or the back of any other extremity, for that matter.
So when I went to Spooktacular at Fort Edmonton Park (because I’m awesome!), I had no idea where I was going. Fortunately, I was following a young fellow, whom I thought at the time was a bright, friendly chap. This was until he turned into the driver spawn of Satan!
Okay, I may be overreacting a bit, just a bit mind you, but at the time I was freaking out. He was driving 30 kilometres over the speed limit, and my car is from 1994, and I am a law abiding citizen, so this was preposterous! Now, because he was driving like a bat out of Hell, he was way ahead of me and a whole slough (yes slough) of cars separated us, so I had no idea where he was or where I was going.
There I was, lost, and majorly ticked off. So much so that I gave that bad apple a piece of my mind, and yes, a few expletives may have slipped out. Then this ignoramus had the gall to say that out of the whole night, I was the scariest thing at Spooktacular! He is now dead, but that is neither here nor there.
The point is, if someone is following you in a convoy (cue song…), then please, for Pete’s sake, go the speed limit, make sure they are behind you or in sight at all times, and most of all, don’t make them angry! You won’t like them when they’re angry…
And remember, even if you’re not quite the sharpest knife in the drawer, you are probably the dullest and rustiest, and are placed in just such a way, that if one were to put their hand in, they will get cut…and Tetanus.
-Marisa
Now that you’re here, I would like to take this time to vent just a wee mite. This may prove a great learning experience for you as well especially if your name happens to be…well…you know who you are!
I am a young driver, and I don’t live in the city, therefore I have no need to drive around Edmonton very much. Needless to say, I don’t know E-Town like the back of my hand, or the back of any other extremity, for that matter.
So when I went to Spooktacular at Fort Edmonton Park (because I’m awesome!), I had no idea where I was going. Fortunately, I was following a young fellow, whom I thought at the time was a bright, friendly chap. This was until he turned into the driver spawn of Satan!
Okay, I may be overreacting a bit, just a bit mind you, but at the time I was freaking out. He was driving 30 kilometres over the speed limit, and my car is from 1994, and I am a law abiding citizen, so this was preposterous! Now, because he was driving like a bat out of Hell, he was way ahead of me and a whole slough (yes slough) of cars separated us, so I had no idea where he was or where I was going.
There I was, lost, and majorly ticked off. So much so that I gave that bad apple a piece of my mind, and yes, a few expletives may have slipped out. Then this ignoramus had the gall to say that out of the whole night, I was the scariest thing at Spooktacular! He is now dead, but that is neither here nor there.
The point is, if someone is following you in a convoy (cue song…), then please, for Pete’s sake, go the speed limit, make sure they are behind you or in sight at all times, and most of all, don’t make them angry! You won’t like them when they’re angry…
And remember, even if you’re not quite the sharpest knife in the drawer, you are probably the dullest and rustiest, and are placed in just such a way, that if one were to put their hand in, they will get cut…and Tetanus.
-Marisa
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
The Blonde Cause
Last week I gave you the “D-L” on A Blonde Joke, (don’t worry I will never use that term again!) and now I just have one thing to say.
Blondes are NOT, I repeat, NOT stupid!
I don’t know what sort of moronic ignoramus came up with that idea, and why we all, including myself, follow that belief like it’s some sort of weird voodoo, hypnotic cult.
This is why I have dedicated myself to the cause. No, not cancer, or rabies, but the Blonde cause.
It is my firm belief that it is those who have purposely dyed their hair the color of sunshine that make the rest of us au naturals look like idiots. Not all of them mind you, but all the ones you see on TV or Playboy, etc., who act like ditzy fools to attract attention. They’re just jealous of our golden locks if you ask me.
But now it’s just commonplace to call Blondes dumb, and all of those bad jokes support this theory.
Now my show is a platform for all of those light-haired beauties to speak their mind, in an intelligent manner, and join the fight against…well…brunette.
Classic example: Betty and Veronica. Both are gorgeous by comic book standards, but who is smart, funny, athletic, generous, and by all accounts better? The Blonde. But who also gets the shaft? The Blonde.
It’s not fair I tell you! It’s a hard-knock life for us Blondes, and I plan to fix this. Every Wednesday at 4:30, (shameless plug…) I will prove that Blondes can be smart, while still poking fun at the whole “Myth of the Blonde Hair”. So I urge you, my dear ones, help me in my quest against the evil of the dark hair, listen to A Blonde Joke, and send me your “Smart” Blonde jokes. With your help, Blonde shall prevail. Viva la Blonde!
And remember; if you don’t know just what it is, don’t put it in your mouth…ick!
Disclaimer: Any views expressed in this blog are merely for the purpose of blogging, A Blonde Joke actually loves brunettes, and “The Blonde Cause” is fictional. Don’t join it, but do listen to A Blonde Joke every Wednesday at 4:30 (shameless plug number 2…).
-Marisa
Blondes are NOT, I repeat, NOT stupid!
I don’t know what sort of moronic ignoramus came up with that idea, and why we all, including myself, follow that belief like it’s some sort of weird voodoo, hypnotic cult.
This is why I have dedicated myself to the cause. No, not cancer, or rabies, but the Blonde cause.
It is my firm belief that it is those who have purposely dyed their hair the color of sunshine that make the rest of us au naturals look like idiots. Not all of them mind you, but all the ones you see on TV or Playboy, etc., who act like ditzy fools to attract attention. They’re just jealous of our golden locks if you ask me.
But now it’s just commonplace to call Blondes dumb, and all of those bad jokes support this theory.
Now my show is a platform for all of those light-haired beauties to speak their mind, in an intelligent manner, and join the fight against…well…brunette.
Classic example: Betty and Veronica. Both are gorgeous by comic book standards, but who is smart, funny, athletic, generous, and by all accounts better? The Blonde. But who also gets the shaft? The Blonde.
It’s not fair I tell you! It’s a hard-knock life for us Blondes, and I plan to fix this. Every Wednesday at 4:30, (shameless plug…) I will prove that Blondes can be smart, while still poking fun at the whole “Myth of the Blonde Hair”. So I urge you, my dear ones, help me in my quest against the evil of the dark hair, listen to A Blonde Joke, and send me your “Smart” Blonde jokes. With your help, Blonde shall prevail. Viva la Blonde!
And remember; if you don’t know just what it is, don’t put it in your mouth…ick!
Disclaimer: Any views expressed in this blog are merely for the purpose of blogging, A Blonde Joke actually loves brunettes, and “The Blonde Cause” is fictional. Don’t join it, but do listen to A Blonde Joke every Wednesday at 4:30 (shameless plug number 2…).
-Marisa
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
About A Blonde Joke
Howdy and Salutations all my millions of Blonde fans!
Now in case you forgot, here's a little reminder of what exactly this here show "A Blonde Joke" is about.
Pretty much, it's my show, so i play what I want, when I want to, however I want to.
And no, it's not a show completely about blonde jokes...that would just be stupid. But true to the name, I do have a new joke every week, as well as many other weekly segments.
There's the Flashback, which is a song that is from the "younger" generation's past...ie: the 90's.
Then, of course, there is the "Blonde Feature" which is a song that has something in any way, shape, or form, or any other way I can make a connection to do with 'Blonde'.
A new segment I've added is the "TV Theme of the Week", which is exactly what it suggests. Then you, my dear listeners, can call in and guess what TV show the theme is from and WIN! (Note: Winning entails nothing more than the satisfaction of knowing you were right, and TA DA your name mentioned on the radio!)
Other than that I play every genre from the 1950's to now, and I'll give you cool facts about everything I play.
Feel free to send me jokes or song requests, but keep it clean please, let's keep it clean!
And remember, give a man fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
- Marisa
Now in case you forgot, here's a little reminder of what exactly this here show "A Blonde Joke" is about.
Pretty much, it's my show, so i play what I want, when I want to, however I want to.
And no, it's not a show completely about blonde jokes...that would just be stupid. But true to the name, I do have a new joke every week, as well as many other weekly segments.
There's the Flashback, which is a song that is from the "younger" generation's past...ie: the 90's.
Then, of course, there is the "Blonde Feature" which is a song that has something in any way, shape, or form, or any other way I can make a connection to do with 'Blonde'.
A new segment I've added is the "TV Theme of the Week", which is exactly what it suggests. Then you, my dear listeners, can call in and guess what TV show the theme is from and WIN! (Note: Winning entails nothing more than the satisfaction of knowing you were right, and TA DA your name mentioned on the radio!)
Other than that I play every genre from the 1950's to now, and I'll give you cool facts about everything I play.
Feel free to send me jokes or song requests, but keep it clean please, let's keep it clean!
And remember, give a man fire, he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
- Marisa
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